I arrived today in London, but my thoughts still run to the Meat Man. BorFest 2009 went off without a hitch last night. The evil forces of Decemko that were trying to prevent Bor from completing his mission, realized that in firing the Meat Man they had gone too far. The whole of the Climate Advocacy Institute had rallied in honor of the Meat Man. The advocacy training we had all received came in handy, and a boycott was quickly organized. While the Meat Man remains unemployed, we did manage to drive down the price of beer by half a lira and to strike fear into the heart of the fascist powers at Decemko.
In their weakened state, the fascist forces even came to fear the BorFest Defense Force… Continue reading
In an attempt to boost the morale of the Five Asses who make up the BorFest Defense Force (BDF), Bor gave us disguises. Bor has read up on Che’s 26th of July Movement, and figured he’d try to launch a 11th of July movement.
The BorFest Defense Force
After they fired the Meat Man, Bor realized it was time to take off the gloves. We have to fight fire with fire, so Bor decided to his own guerilla army, one fierce enough to make the Shining Path quiver in their tracks, make a farce of the FARC, and make Al Qaeda look like a bunch of pansies. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out to well. All Bor could round up was a horse the glue factory refused to take and four others asses:
Badges? Badges? We don't need no shtinkin' badges! We have Decemko drink tickets!
The evil forces trying to prevent BorFest from happening have started to play hardball. Yesterday, while Bor was in Dikili ranting against the injustices of the world and planning an invasion of Trieste, the evil forces of Decemko took a completely unexpected and dastardly step, and dealt a mighty but low blow: they fired the Meat Man!
This is an unjust action that will not stand. We the participants in the Climate Advocacy Institute are calling on the International Criminal Court to investigate as a crime against the innocent civilians participating in this summer’s Climate Advocacy Institute, we are calling on the International Labor Organization to investigate and protest this unjust act, we are also calling for an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council and for it… Continue reading
The authorities here in Decemko today issues an announcement in a vain attempt to assure of Institute participants that they have things well under control and that BorFest will not happen. Bor, of course, is having none of this.
Bor’s brow is particularly furrowed today; the pressure is clearly starting to get to him. It hasn’t t helped that our impoverished performance advocate that his own attempt to keep his merry band of conspirators on task… Continue reading
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